The Vast Desert

We have arrived. After many days of travel, FOB-hopping, changed time schedules and various things that fly, we made it to our home. I am high. Not in the chemically altered sense. In the sense that my lungs are saying "What's goin' on? Did the world run out of air?" We are roughly about 7,500 to 8,000 feet in elevation. High enough that just walking to chow makes you huff and puff like a fat kid opening a Ding-Dong. I use that line a lot here.

I have so much to say, since it has been so long since I have written on here. Where do I start? I know...We were roughly over Greece, when the flight attendants came to the front of the airplane and moved everyone in the bulkhead "back a few seats." RMac and I looked at each other in wonderment and then astonishment when the flight attendants asked us to put our assault packs up in the seats they had just un-occupied. "In case of fire, we don't want these at your feet." Fire?! Did she say fire?

"Is there a problem?" we asked.

"We are just taking precautions." I politely asked if she was also taking precautions against us landing on a desert island. She didn't smile. Apparently, the stablizer mechanism had failed. Oh, I shrugged, is that all? What I had failed to learn in the flight school I didn't attend was that the stablizer is what helped to steer the plane. Back to where we took off was the new course. The bags had me a little preoccupied.

"Is that crash protection?" I asked.

"Sort of." she said not smiling. Sort of? What the hell does that mean?

In any event, we landed safely at our original departure and had to spend a few days laying around doing nothing. They got us a new plane and here we are.

Since we have been here, it has been pretty good. Aside from the weirdo's lobbing metal at us from time to time, it hasn't been too bad. A side-note is that the weirdo's couldn't hit both ears with river paddles! So we are relatively safe.

On the road, it is the same as I remembered from last year. Dusty, nasty, rough and relentless on vehicles. Yesterday, I had my truck break in three major arteries that would usually sideline your car for several weeks. My brakes went out, on a hill. Apparently, the power steering hose rubbed a hole in the brake line. Oh, then a few minutes later, after I filled up the master cylinder, the power steering was acting up. Then, in about calf deep water, the engine throttle linkage broke. I had to get out to hook up the tow strap, but at least it wasn't poop. After several sessions of figuring out a good way to fix my Frankenstein, frederica came up with the idea of zip-tying the thing back together. Damndest thing is that it worked and we drover Frankie back home. Of course, Vo-Vo had a hey day with his remarks of "you could've prevented this." "You're holding up our forward progress" and so on. That's okay though, the first time things go bad with the Shockers and I will be laying in wait to pounce with the jokes.

Just for clarification, driving around here isn't like any other thing you have ever done. The best way to compare it is if you climbed in your car and drove on top of every car parked along the street. Then just for good measure and to really give you a sense of what it is like, put your car in reverse and do it again.

So, here I am...again. Another long vacation from reality and everything we know as normal. My house is a brick and semi-concrete slash dirt structure. It keeps the rain off, but that is about it. Next door is the office where our world is put together by master minds of deception and intrigue. Really, all we try to do is figure out where the weirdo's are and go find them. Talk to a few people, hand out some smiles and affection and hope that these guys like us more than they like the weirdo's. It is like really bad detective work, except that we can't understand any of them and they are way different in how they act. For example, in the US if you gave someone ten dollars, they would say "Thank you." Here, they ask" Why not twenty?" Ugh...it is frustrating at times.

Maybe Andersonville wasn't so bad...